a slow down & a break down..

The parable of Luke 6 was shared today @ church. Good vs. Evil. The main concept I got out of the story was that I needed to "stop trying to get sawdust out of my brother's eye first, and get the plank out of my own. Then, I will be able to get the plank from my brother's eye easier." In other words, I need to stop worrying about everyone else's problems and situations and focus on my own struggles. Sometimes it may take a slow down & a break down to see that.

I live in this little doctor bubble where there are pressures to become something great, and be the best doctor of chiropractic that you can be. For a 22 year old (who's always had high expectations of herself, and had always been more grown up for her age) sometimes that can be a struggle in itself. (along with) Trying to balance a part-time job, school, marriage, happiness, money, & responsibilities take a toll on stress levels.

I know that I am an impatient person, I like to see things go my way, and I always feel like I have to be in control or things will not get finished. I never realized how much pressure I put onto others just from my stresses. I don't like to admit to my flaws, and I don't like to be wrong. (Ok, there! I said it! I DON'T LIKE TO BE WRONG!) That's hard for me to say. I always heard that when you go into your home from a day's work or school, that you need to leave you worries on the doormat. That is something I definately have not been doing. Then, I get so caught up in this person's problems or that person's anxiety, & I never have time to think about my own. They just kept building and building, & never got discussed. Finally, it came. The break down.

My mouth opened & the word vomit came flowing (as did the tears). The things I don't know how to express, or even if they are being conveyed correctly were coming out of me, and all I could do was cry. It was today that I took the plank from my own eye. It was today that he connected emotions and intimacy. Hopefully, it was today that started a new chapter, a new communication, a new love, and a new beginning.

Sometimes we just need to slow down & have a break down to see the things that matter most. (or maybe to even realized that we have problems that haven't been addressed). Now I'm leaving it to God and faith to handle the rest.